"Literary Life" is an Understatement

As the title suggests, those two words can never cover just how much of my life involves literature and the English language in general. Books and writing were a part of my life from the moment I could listen to my mother and understand what she was saying as she read "Good Night, Moon" to me. I clearly remember how my reading evolved from picture books to Magic Tree House, from there to Harry Potter, and now we have eighteen year-old me reading thousand page-long fantasy novels in three days.

Of course, being an introvert with a slight case of Asperger's Syndrome is probably what made fiction and language such a large part of my life. I could hardly ever bring myself to talk to people, and when I did, my lack of understanding of social norms and guidelines inevitably led to a whole slew of social faux-pas, which resulted in my parents, siblings, or (however few) friends I had to say things like "why would you say that?" or "Don't ever do something like that again." Eventually the fear of messing up while talking to people was so overpowering that I hated even knocking on someone's door because I was so scared to talk to people. Thus, I was drawn to books, where I could read perfectly written dialogue where everyone talks comfortably and there is no fear.

The book that really expanded the kinds of books I liked to read would have to be Red Scarf Girl, by Ji-Li Jiang. It is a story of the author's life in China during the infamous Cultural Revolution, and her struggle to be able to even say what she wanted to resonated with me. From there, I began to read more "classic" works of literature, and even my reader friends scoffed and stared at me, wondering why I would ever want to read Gone With the Wind or Pride and Prejudice instead of the newest Harry Potter book (which I'd already finished in less than a day). They worried that I'd start talking like Mr. Darcy or Rhett Butler or, heaven forbid, become an English teacher someday. However, there were some perks to reading such works of literature. Beyond immediately finding favor with every English teacher I happened to be a student of, my understanding of the language of "classic" books made reading them in class more enjoyable. Whereas all the other students read "To Kill A Mockingbird" in a monotone when we read it out loud in class, I was volunteered more and more by my fellow students to read it because I actually put emotion into the words and unique indicators for each character's dialogue (Atticus Finch was formal, Scout and Jem spoke in southern accents, etc.)

Around the same time, I was discovering how much I enjoyed writing my own books. It was another interest spawned by my intense fear of speaking to people who aren't my family or close friends; with writing, I could edit and tweak my words so that they were perfect, before anyone ever even read them. I started with (somewhat silly) science fiction books and am now working on three different novels, after completing a 20000 word novella that I feel is my best piece of writing to date. One of those novels happens to be my alternative to journaling, which I always felt awkward doing; the novel documents my experiences in high school, but through the eyes of my fictional counterpart Gabriel.

If I had to choose one quote or phrase that could describe the quite literary life I have just described, it would have to be from Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which he states "It is imperative you do not listen to [other people], for otherwise they will become right." It helps me remember that the best thing to do when creating something, especially writing, you have to shut out all of those critical voices, whether they are friends, family, or those quiet internal voices of doubt, in order to even begin to find a way to say what you have never been able to express.