Under the Desk

I'm pretty confident in saying that I read more words in public school than I spoke. In elementary school I spent nearly all of my free time in the school or the public library just reading books. I checked fiction out to read at home, but I squeezed as much time as I could at the library reading nonfiction or comic books. I would stay up late into the night trying to read by the light of a nightlight, and at school I would always have a big book or two in my desk, and I was often scolded by the teacher for reading in class.

I grew up reading. Meaning that I grew up watching my parents read and finding books of my own to love. Scholastic catalogs were my favorite part of the school year, and I have fond memories of swapping recommendations with classmates and salivating over all the books I wouldn't be able to order.

This is the top half of my bookshelf in the apartment I live in now. It's not very impressive at all, but the few books on those shelves are my absolute favorites that I made room for in my luggage to fly from Wisconsin. I've reread each of them anywhere from three times to more than I can remember. I didn't bring them with me with any real intent to read them again, but I didn't want to leave them behind.

I think that feeling traces back to growing up around my dad's bookshelves. He always had dozens of grown-up-looking books in his office, but I never actually saw him reading them. But whenever I asked about one, he would tell me why he owned it and what he liked and disliked about it. A lot of these books I own today are actually from his old collection, that I made my own as I grew up.

These books sit on my shelf more as a display of my love for them than as waiting to be taken down and read, but that's because I'm always reading new books.

I used to reread over and over again, and I'm still not really sure why. Eventually I had to move away from the books I knew to go to college for the first time, and I went out and found new ones. I read so much that at one point in my Freshman year I actually skipped a couple classes - even though I was already on campus - just to pull out a book and read the next chapter.

I think I've learned a little more self control since then. Now I read on my phone whenever I have a minute or two to do nothing but wait. But still, when I visited my family last summer, I had to bring back my favorites with me.

And then I discovered writing. I found websites and forums where I could share my own opinions and reviews and participate in writing competitions. I found new favorite stories and learned to make my own. For me, having a literary life means always looking forward to another new world, always having an eye open and an ear turned to the depths of human imagination and never saying you've seen enough, and finding joy in storytelling no matter how many times you've heard the story before.

Literature has always been an unnoticed undercurrent in my life, and until recently I never thought a life focused on it was realistic. But now that I've learned more about it and experienced it for myself, I'm not afraid of that commitment. It only makes me excited.