The thesis I chose to work with is from the paper "A 'Most Happy Wrack'", which describes the musical aspects of Shakespeare's play. The thesis is as follows:
"Because Shakespeare laces his musical references with so much meaning, it becomes a
useful lens with which to analysis the strange ending of Twelfth Night."
This thesis is an evaluation claim, where the writer takes something and measures it up to some task or standard that they already have in place. As it is, it is slightly weak in quality, not being able to spark that much of a debate, and may do better as a different thesis type. I would rewrite it as a comparison thesis, and it would say something a bit more, if not controversial, sparking of intellectual discussion.
Thesis rewrite: "Considering the strangeness of Twelfth Night's ending, it is best analyzed through the lens of musical devices within Shakespeare's writing, as he laces these musical references with meaning."
p.s: I hope you all enjoyed the pun in the title.
I agree that the thesis was too simplistic and didn't give enough information for it to stand on its own. I think that your rewrite was good and made the evaluation more clear!
ReplyDeleteHaha your title was so punny, I actually laughed out loud (just goes to show you my threshold for holding in my laughter: nonexistent). Your rewrite was a lot clearer and more specific.
ReplyDeleteI like how you revised this claim into a more debate-inspiring one. I tried to do the same with the statement I chose from this essay--it felt too vague to really be believable, and begged to be rewritten. But I definitely appreciate what you did here.
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